more pictures

The sun has just made an appearance from behind the dark clouds that I've been watching roll over the lake this morning. I may just have the time to go out and take a few pictures before heading out to a friend's today after all...

I've been up for a while now going through some old pictures and pictures from the other night. Here we go...

taken in the washroom at social (taken with the p&s)


older summer pictures revisited / rediscovered :




random man re-edited - something weird appears to be happening with some of my pictures - this picture as seen below seems much more yellow than it does when I open it up in photoshop... hmmmmmm....

our first loss

3rd game of the season and finally we lost. We were playing the number one team so I kind of expected it. I actually expected them to be much better than they were. The team has been doing okay. I'm kind of surprised. And somehow we're now playing in the intermediate league which would probably explain why I seem to be getting more bruises than I did last year.

Last night was okay. I don't know why I wasn't all that impressed. I don't think I was really feeling it I suppose. Or maybe I've just grown out of breaks - I haven't actually really listened to breaks in a very long time. I keep searching for some good breaks for some of my friends but I'm always disappointed with what I find. Anyway, I ended up staying out much too late, got home some time after 2am and woke up a few hours later to go to work.

I have to say that opening my eyes this morning and seeing the sun rise was a very unwelcome sight. My alarm went off what seemed like seconds later.

I can hardly keep my eyes open. I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow.

I brought my little p&s out last night. Something happened to it at some point before my trip last year - the lens cover seems to get stuck half open and then I have to tap it a few times to get it to open. It's pretty irritating but the camera still works ok. Took a couple of pictures - mainly brought it to record some of the music - haven't had a chance to really check any of them out yet. Maybe tomorrow morning when I'm a little more awake.

on tonight's menu: Evil Nine

Probably one of my favourite breaks producers (next to the Warriors) are in town tonight. They're going to be spinning at the Social. Just a hop skip and a jump away from my place. I wouldn't miss it for the world. I found out about an hour ago that I'm hosting the pre-party. Yikes!

I haven't been out in what feels like ages. I'm afraid I'm going to fizzle. I'm sure the energy of the crowd (if there is any - more snow in the city! when will it ever end?) will keep me going 'til late.


Saturday night my favourite DJ will be spinning at Footwork. Oh James Holden, how I love thee. I realized a while ago that it really wasn't James that I loved but rather Nathan Fake - one of the producers on James' label that James seems to mix quite a bit of. Unfortunately I'm pretty sure that Holden will never match the Nathan Fake set I once saw a few years ago.

Anyway, gotta go, someone's already at the door!?

an old story: Baden-Baden and the Caracalla spa

I'm in a story-telling mood. This morning I had the strangest memory come to me... it was of Baden-Baden, Germany from some 3 years ago.

We didn't actually spend much time in big cities in Germany so I'm convinced that my experience in Germany may have been a little skewed. Most people in the smaller towns didn't speak much English and there weren't that many non-European tourists - again, we stayed in a pretty remote area of Germany. Ordering food in some restaurants was difficult - some people really didn't speak a word of English. Similarly, getting around in taxis was at times very difficult. From what I saw, everything seemed very punctual, clean and organized. The trains were efficient and fast... and running into school groups on the trains was quite the intense experience too. I quickly learnt that "schneller farhen!!!" means drive faster - a school group of kids (maybe in grade 2) kept chanting this for a good 15 minutes on one of the train rides (and by chanting, I really mean screaming.) Intense. Now that I think of it this is the EXACT opposite of what I saw in Tokyo - I saw one school group where the teacher had somehow mastered the ability to keep children completely silent while on the subway.

Anyway I digress: we got to Baden-Baden, found our guesthouse and wandered down the road to see the spas and to decide which would be most appropriate for us. There were two nearby - the Caracalla spa and the Friedrichsbad spa. The second spa was a little intimidating - a strict "no clothing past the changeroom" rule was enforced and I believe the spas may have been separate which would've meant I would be sitting alone in a bath full of naked women unable to communicate with anyone because not a lot of people spoke English there.

We opted for the Caracalla spa. I booked a massage (I wouldn't recommend getting a massage there if you're backpacking - I was left with bruises all over my back and was in serious pain every time I would put on my pack for a good week after that massage) and then wandered out to the main pool area where Ryan had been relaxing waiting for me.

At some point shortly after meeting up with Ryan some man (French - his accent was a dead giveaway) came up to Ryan and speaking to him as if I wasn't there said "she's a little shy one isn't she?" I'm not sure why he was saying this? I don't remember what had happened. He had probably made some stupid remark and I had probably just smiled politely in response.

After maybe an hour of lazing around in the cold air and very warm water we decided to venture upstairs to the adult clothing-free area. We went up mainly out of curiosity unsure whether we would partake or not. You had to step through glazed doors in order to access this area and then had a little area where you could stand and decide whether you were in or out. This allowed us to look around, scope it out and decide whether or not to retreat. After standing there for maybe 15 seconds I realized that it wasn't going to happen if I kept thinking about it so I took off my bathing suit and walked in. Ryan didn't expect this and followed suit. It seemed decent enough - mostly old people but a few "younger" people (I think we were probably the youngest in the place - it was mid-week in the middle of the day.)

It didn't feel weird at all - until the French man who thought I was a little shy arrived with his wife / girlfriend / whatever and decided he would sit in the same hot tub as us. Ungh.... he was annoying. And his girlfriend was old and wrinkly (sorry - it just needed to be said.)

I don't think it lasted very long before we moved to another tub or sauna.

The baths were pretty crazy. In the clothing-free area you could walk through the forest behind the spa to various different saunas (all set to different temperatures).

Wow. Sometimes when I think about this stuff I realize how spoiled I am. I think my style of traveling has changed a little since then. Instead of going to spas, I would rather just go and bathe in the hotel common bath... or instead of getting a massage at the spa, I'd rather just go find the closest female thai prison and have an inmate there give me a massage... (did i ever write about that? That'll be for some other night...)

yoyo

So... apparently now I'm back to traveling alone when I go to Paris and Berlin - and Berlin is back in the plans. Interesting last few days - I have to say. All drama aside I think everyone is happy with the final results - okay... maybe not the friend who seemed to want to travel with me. I think she wanted in on my Berlin idea (and maybe my take on Paris) but her work wouldn't allow her to push her time off to a week later.

I was kind of settling into the idea of traveling with someone else. Now I'm feeling kind of nervous about this - Berlin?! by myself?! I don't speak German! What am I thinking?! [I'm sure this feeling will pass pretty quickly.]

Tonight's class was good. I'm feeling pretty good about the study regime I've come up with - it seems to be working pretty well. Last week I spent about 2 hours writing, 2 hours practicing speaking and maybe a bit over an hour doing review on top of the writing and speaking. I don't know why I didn't think of this earlier but I started keeping all of my new words in Anki and using it for review / study. I know... I know... why didn't I think of this earlier? I was using decks that other people had made and was finding it hard because I wasn't really hearing / seeing these words in other places than in the Anki review. But making my own deck(s) really makes sense. It'll take me some time to put all the words I know into a deck but once it's done it should be pretty easy / quick to maintain.

I've also realized what it is that I don't like about the book I'm using. The exercises mainly just consist of replacing words (given to you in Japanese) in a sentence they give you. It's very formulaic and doesn't require much thinking - just reading and replacing words. It seems like I would learn more if it gave me the words in English and I would have to think of 1) how to say it in Japanese and then 2) the proper particles. Meh. Whatever, I'm just going to keep on doing my exercises, memorization and whatever else I can cram in and hope that it all come together and makes sense at some point.

compromise

Last night Ryan pretty much told me that walking with me when I have my camera out is kind of like walking a dog that needs to stop to take a shit every couple of minutes. I was a little upset by this but who am I kidding - I won't deny it - it's true. I'm annoying to be with when I pull out my camera. "Wait, what's that black spot?! is that on my lens?" (stops in the middle of the sidewalk in -20 degree weather and starts inspecting the lens) "I can't see it on the lens?! [takes off filter] maybe it's inside?! oh no! what am I going to do?! maybe it's just on the viewfinder?"... "oh wait, that was completely out of focus"... Takes 20 different pictures of the same thing... etc, etc... Ok. So yeah, I can understand that it would be annoying for anyone who's with me.

Anyway... The point of this post is just to say that I was talking to a friend last night that was planning on going to Paris the week before I am going. [Yes, this is related to the diarrhea dog.] She recently discovered that she may not have a place to stay while she's in Paris (we were supposed to stay with our friend but the situation has recently changed and now we're out on the streets with nowhere to go.) I was originally planning on probably staying in a hostel if I could find one that was cheap enough (60$ for a hostel!? That seems a little ridiculous when I can book a hotel room for that price!) My friend doesn't think she can afford a hotel by herself and the thought of staying in a hostel alone scares her (she's never traveled by herself and has never been to Europe so doesn't know what to expect really.) So... I offered that she comes with me and that I would pay for her hotel if I were staying in a hotel or that we could share a private hostel room and I would pay for most of it.

This of course is completely changing all of my plans for Paris. I don't think I would make it to Berlin (she can't afford that... but she did sound interested in possibly going down to Marseille - I could settle for going to Marseille if it's not too expensive... just by doing quick searches I think going to Berlin might be cheaper so that may also be out.) It would also mean... that this wouldn't be a photography trip (which I was kind of hoping it would be...) I would have to respect the fact that she won't want to stand around waiting for me to get the (not-so) perfect shot... I thought about it quite a bit and talked it over with Ryan (that's when he told me I was annoying) before I offered it to her. It's taking my trip and completely changing it - I was hoping for some alone time in Paris and Berlin, with my camera... and now... I would be her tour guide and entertainer for a week and I would have to be very selective about my photo-taking.

I would feel bad if she couldn't go to France because she can't afford to stay in a hotel. She's been planning this trip for months - longer than I have and really seems disappointed with the way things are going. If I'm already paying for a room or a bed somewhere and it's not too much more expensive for her to stay with me, I really don't mind. I'm willing to give up my plans to try to help her make it to Paris...

So now... I wait... I've left it up to her to decide. We'll see what happens.



I went out with my 50mm 1.8 (manual) lens yesterday. It was fun. I could've probably spent the whole morning out if I were alone. The light was just right. The sun is low in the sky here during the winter so there are nice shadows everywhere. I didn't get any fantastic shots (it's quite hard to get anything in focus with a manual lens at 1.8) and I was kind of rushed - Ryan was with me and was getting annoyed waiting for me. [Not sure about the editing on this one...]

travel plans!

I'm excited... I've booked time off work in March for my trip to Paris and Berlin. I've also finally found a few interesting places to visit in Paris that I didn't see the first time around. Also, there are a few places that I would like to go back to. When I was in Paris a few years ago one of Ryan's co-workers showed us around and brought us to some pretty cool little spots - a tea room, some random phở restaurant in the suburbs (where Ryan accidentally rubbed some hot peppers into his eyes and proceeded to start crying), a big garden (maybe le jardin des tuilleries?) I know this sounds kind of lame but it was pretty cool - a whole other side of Paris we wouldn't have seen without him there...

I'm excited at the thought of traveling again but I'm also afraid that 10 days won't be enough... I'm scared that it'll go by so fast that by the time I get settled into traveling, I'll have to come home. And I know that I probably won't want to. I feel like this trip is a risky decision... That maybe this is just like a taste of what I wish I could be doing all the time... Realistically, I don’t know how I could make it work… I’ve thought about it a lot but I just don’t know that I could afford to not have a permanent office job and go traveling… or maybe I could if I were really good at what I was doing… I don’t know… need to think about this some more.


Next month I'm planning a short 3 day trip to the windy city. I've been there before (for Lollapalooza a few years ago and a few times when I was young doing the cross-North America drive with the parents.) I really find it to be an interesting city. Amazing architecture, strange food (ungh... deep dish pizza?), interesting cultural stuff... People don't really talk about Chicago much – I think it gets overlooked a lot. I have to be honest - it was tempting to go to New York but 3 days is not enough time for me in New York City. And so off to the windy city I go. I’ve found some cheap flight & hotel packages so I’m looking forward to this.

Trips like this small 3-day one will probably be the only thing to keep me going once I get back from Paris. All of my 2009 vacation days are going to be saved up for a big trip I’m planning for December – 4 weeks in Tokyo and surrounding area… or maybe 3 weeks in Tokyo and one week in Korea. I haven’t quite planned out the details yet but I have about 11 months to figure those out.


On a somewhat unrelated note – class on Monday was good. It further reinforced my feeling that I need to study more! I feel like my lack of vocabulary is really slowing me down. I’m okay with the particles I’ve learnt so far, same with sentence structures… I just seem to be lacking words. I’ll probably spend another day at the library on the weekend studying…

I went climbing last night for the first time in months. It was a sad state of affairs. My night started with bouldering which was going nowhere because the thought of falling 10 feet scared me (I know, ridiculous!) So then I switched to top-roping… By then my hands were getting raw and I started getting tired. Ryan said that on my last climb he saw my confidence come back. I was 4 or 5 moves from the top - all of a sudden I remembered how to climb again. (The climb itself wasn’t very hard but I guess the last couple of moves were a little tricky.) When I haven’t been climbing for a while I usually find myself getting nervous near the top of climbs. I didn’t feel that way last night once I got tied into the rope… it felt more like it was just a matter of remembering how to move. I need to get my endurance and finger / hand strength back. I’m so out of shape.

Plans for the weekend: hockey, studying, and climbing…

it's the ipod generation

I'm avoiding studying. My class starts in about 40 minutes and here I am at my regular Starbucks surfing the internet, books tucked away in my bag, trying to not feel bad about not wanting to study. I spent most of Saturday studying - reviewing material I had covered last term in the hopes of maybe remembering everything I'd learnt. It was intense - I forced myself to write all my answers (on paper) in hiragana and very broken (almost non-existent) katakana where appropriate - I think I even threw in some random Kanjis. It took me way too long to do this - I think it would definitely be easier if I had the kana version of the book in front of me when I do this than my silly romaji one. Answers that should've taken me no time at all were taking me a good 10 minutes to write out as I struggled to figure out the katakana (and get the stroke orders right)... I figure this is the only way I'll get fast at reading and writing. I think I was making progress... but who knows... we'll see how I feel after class is done tonight.

So now, instead of studying I will tell you about a habit I've recently developed. It's called "singing with the ipod on". This would usually not be a problem... if I were at home... or even just walking down the street... but I find myself struggling to contain myself while I'm at work. The man who sits next to me has an equally interesting habit - he swears non-stop under his breath. I think my singing is on par with this if not slightly more annoying.

Ryan says it's the "ipod generation"... this is what we do... we break into song and / or dance when we think no one's watching or listening... or is that just me? I always worry that my building will install a hidden video camera in the elevator and catch me in the act of busting a move (or at least trying to) while on my way home.

another funeral

I've now been to two funerals in the last month and a half. I'm not sure what to do with this information right now.

One of my father's friends passed away last week. It was definitely a shock for everyone as he wasn't very old and was in very good health. I got the phone call Friday night along with a suggestion that maybe I should go (being the only one in my family still in Toronto.) As yesterday progressed I realized that my father's suggestion wasn't really a suggestion but rather a request for me to go and he fully expected me to show up as his proxy. So I did. I said whatever awkward thing I said and then came back home.

I find our mourning process strange... very surreal. People stand near their dead loved one while putting on a brave face and greeting guests. This just seems so strange to me. I don't get it. It's not that I have a better idea of how to deal with this... I just don't understand how people can be so... strong...

Last month my grandfather passed away at the age of 93. It ended up being a pretty amazing trip to Alberta. All of my cousins were there except for one (that's 37 cousins! - not including spouses or children!) I spent the entire 5 days with my immediate family - my brother came up from Hawaii, my sister came from Guelph and everyone (including my parents) stayed at my sister's house in Edmonton... I think it was the best family gathering we've had in a long time - which I realize is kind of a sad thing. Everyone agreed that this is how it was supposed to be... that Grand-papa would've laughed at us playing our spoons, harmonicas and singing along to some old Bonne Chanson songs together.



Anyway... on a less heavy note... I came home today and started playing around with some of my old pictures (seeing that I haven't really taken anything interesting recently). I decided to install Lightroom to give it a try. I've apparently gotten used to using CS3 and so this is a little different - I'm not sure whether I like it or not yet. I have to say Lightroom has tons of presets which are fun to play with and can give you some pretty interesting / cool / borderline-annoying effects in no time at all:

ideas.

I've had a few ideas lately. I've been trying to follow-up on them to see where they will lead and I'm coming up on pretty much nothing. The idea that's been nagging at me the most is trying to find people who are also interested in photography.

I know there is at least one group in this city that gets together somewhat regularly to take pictures... I just don't find myself to be all that interested in their events. Maybe I'm just being too close-minded about it though... Maybe I should just suck it up and try it out? I found myself looking at pictures from one of their last events. The pictures were interesting but the event still looked kind of lame.

Ryan suggested yesterday that maybe I should try starting a new group that would be... for ummm... younger people. I've been slowly trying to find people on Flickr that are in Toronto and who are doing interesting photography... (For some reason currently most of my flickr contacts seem to be in either China or Japan - makes for interesting pictures from my contacts but it doesn't really help me understand the potential that is here in this city.) I don't know... I think starting a new group might be a case of me re-inventing the wheel. I might be better off just going to the regular group meeting and finding people who want to do something a little more... interesting there.

And then we have the whole issue of what is interesting? I don't know. I've been really having trouble defining this. I want to start working on a project of some sort. I've thought of maybe doing some urban exploration type stuff for lack of a better idea (I'd definitely not want to be doing that alone) or there's always street photography which I think has more potential.

Last night I actually found someone in Toronto doing some interesting street photography!! WHAT?! I KNOW! I was surprised too! THERE IS HOPE! Kind of different stuff that I didn't expect / had never thought of - taken with an 85mm 1.4 lens... - looking at his stuff actually made me start looking at lenses again... oh to have a good auto-focus low-light lens... oh to have tons of money to spend on a prime... (NO! NO MORE LENSES!... okay... maybe one more lens...)

Ok. Wow. I need to get dressed to go to work! I woke up this morning thinking about all of this and just needed to write it down...

Essential Mix of 2008

I mentioned that I had a few topics I wanted to write about in the last post... here's topic #2.

I am finally done listening to the 2008 Essential Mixes!

And so about a week ago I began thinking about which mix I liked the most in 2008.

For me this is hard because I like different genres of electronic music. My most favourite mixes this year have been, for the most part, pleasant surprises from artists / DJs that I did not previously know.

My top three mixes were (in chronological order)

Luciano (2008-01-26)
Shlomi Aber (2008-03-22)
Peace Division (2008-08-30)

There were quite a few essential mixes that I really liked aside from these ones. Like Matthew Dear (2008-03-15) which eventually grew on me. Or even the Sweedish House Mafia (2008-12-27) - this one is just because it sounded like it would've been an insane party to go to (loved the sound of the crowd.) I will also admit to actually enjoying some of the more trancey ones this time around.

I should mention here that according to Pete Tong, the Essential Mix of 2008 was Flying Lotus. While I really thought the opening 10 minutes of the Flying Lotus mix were amazing, the rest of the mix was just okay for me. I didn't really enjoy how little of each track was being played. It felt like it was made for someone with attention deficit disorder. Nor am I sure what Pete Tong meant when he said it was "california's answer to the Aphex Twin". Umm... 1) this is experimental Hip Hop and 2) is nowhere near sounding or even being comparable to Aphex Twin. (oh Pete Tong, sometimes you need to be quiet.)

For me Luciano was an amazing surprise - a breath of fresh air. I can remember the exact moment this one clicked for me. I was out on my run, all worried about the job situation, needing money, unhappy to be back home when I heard the opening to this Essential Mix. And it just made sense. As someone who until mid-last year always said "I don't do house" he turned everything on its head for me. There is good house music out there. There's a lot of bad house but there is definitely good house music out there. And this is some of the best.

Then we have Shlomi... Oh Shlomi. This probably defines my 2008 musical taste. More minimal and tech than ever before. This one is all about the high-end bleeps and bloops for me. It also has a taste of the deep house that seems to fill my top three list.

And this bring me to ... Drum roll please.....

My essential mix of 2008.... PEACE DIVISION. This mix is amazing in so many ways. I can't even pinpoint what it is that makes me enjoy this mix so much. It's fairly "deep" sounding (unlike Luciano or Shlomi Aber) and isn't too minimal nor too housey. Overall I think the track selection is really good and the mixing is also strong (also a good sign of a strong track selection.)

I never imagined that I would pick a house mix as my favourite mix of the year but this mix is different than anything else I've heard this year. For the entire two hours it feels like it continues to push you forward into the strangest places. And somehow it all just... works so well. I don't know how else to explain this. It's definitely not your typical "house" set.

I saw these guys back in November and they weren't as good live as on their mix (possibly because the Essential Mix is just a little too slow for the average club environment so they had to speed things up / change track selection? I'm just trying to guess here.)

I'll probably keep all three of these mixes in regular rotation this year. I'm hoping to see Shlomi Aber or Luciano at some point if they ever decide to come here (or happen to be in a city I'm visiting in the next few months.)


I look forward to yet another year of strong Essential Mixes. I'm already a couple of weeks behind on my listening. I can't wait to dig in!

on light, colour and sound

I can't sleep. I went to bed early last night (well, early for a Friday) and woke up about 20 minutes ago and can't seem to fall back asleep. I've been kind of wanting to write about a few things lately so here's the first one.

A few days ago I was playing with my new sound toys trying to make yet another mix. I still haven't found a good track selection that really makes me want to record anything or by the time I find some tracks that work well together I'm tired and don't really feel like going through the pain of having to record it (I'm realizing now that maybe I should just record everything and then delete it if I don't like it.)

On this particular night, as I played one track and tried to play with the EQ and some effects I started realizing the similarity between what I was hearing and light. In fact, I will take this statement a step further and say that ... I could see colour in the sound. It was almost as if this track I had found was radiating this deep shade of red into my ears and as I played with the EQ it would turn into a more pink colour, or become almost metallic.

One of my friends (also aurally-inclined) once had a somewhat delirious moment where early one morning after staying up all night he turned to his friends and asked "what is the colour of that sound?" Everyone looked at him and laughed a bit, thinking that he really needed to get some sleep. I didn't particularly think much of it either way when I was told about this. I think I'd probably heard many people talk about this "colour of sound" before. I had some strange profs in University - one who would leave me somewhat strange (possibly drug-induced) messages on my personal department voicemail (usually about some weird assignments I'd handed in, sometimes about the faeries and goblins running about in the woods on his land...) I'm sure I remember sitting in a lecture with him talking about the colour of some sound and everyone kind of looking around wondering what he meant.

But for that brief moment on Wednesday night, as I played with my toys I heard it. It was unmistakable. There was colour in that sound.

I don't know that this is a normal state for me to be in that I've just supressed - I don't always see colour in sound... or maybe I do and have just chosen to ignore it up until this point. Maybe it was something specific in the track I was listening to that triggered it? Or maybe it's a result of being sick and not eating a regular meal in 5 days.

The experience was far from unpleasant - if anything it made me appreciate the track on a whole new level and come some sort of new understanding of music, colour and light. [For those interested, I believe the track in question was a Nathan Fake track - I'm not absolutely sure which one right now... probably not one that I listen to very often.]

This made me think a lot about photography and the need for post-processing (something that until recently I'd really neglected and am now struggling to figure out.) I don't know why this immediately came to mind... I must have been imagining something I'd seen before. But as I turned the knobs on my controller I could see the colour changing just like when I edit a picture. There were points in which the sound was the most full, most radiant almost, and then as I turned the knob further it would change, thining out or becoming so strong that it was no longer a colour at all. It was all about finding that balance.

There has been research done about this kind of stuff (neurological stimuli experienced through more than one sensory pathway) which is interesting. I'm not going to repeat any of what the research has found here - if you want to read more do a wikipedia search for synesthesia.

Yay!

I just got the most amazing news.

I thought that our floor hockey team had fallen apart this year. Last year there were a few rough games where we didn't have enough people and had to ask people to play with us from other teams. So I really didn't know if it would come together...

And then today the e-mail came that my first game is tomorrow night! Yes! I was totally excited when there was talk of the team playing again a few months ago. I started running again in November in anticipation for this but then when I didn't hear back from my captain I thought that maybe there wasn't going to be a team. I was actually thinking of sending out a message to all the floor hockey teams offering myself as a floating player - that's how bad I wanted to play! (and luckily because I'm female that would've probably worked - our league has a rule that there must be at least 2 female players on the floor from each team at all times and for some reason it seems like teams are always short women - I'm not sure why?)

Anyway... I really like floor hockey. I don't think I would've ever seen myself liking it and I admit I was definitely hesitant the first year we did this. It's actually tons of fun. The girls usually try to play 2 minutes on, 4 minutes off but it's hard if there are only 3 girls that show up. I've had to play entire games on the floor because there are only 2 girls - including myself - that show! When you're on it's totally intense (I should really be doing running intervals!) And the best part is that because I sucked so bad when I first started I can actually see improvements from game to game. I think I've actually come quite a long way since I first started and was doing pretty awesomely come the end of last season if I may say so.

Now I just need to somehow find the energy to make tomorrow happen. Today I finally went to the doctor (I really thought I was better until last night when it started all over again, ungh...) He said that he wasn't sure what was going on and that I should stay on a liquid diet for a few days and hope that it's just an infection and it'll take care of itself. If that doesn't help by next week I should go back and they'll give me some lovely chalk drink and then x-rays. Fun. Hopefully it doesn't come to that.

interesting gender gap report

Now that the stomach drama seems to have subsided back to my regular business...

Discovered this a week ago. For some strange reason I think there's something really interesting to be found in this: The 2008 Global Gender Gap Report.

I haven't had much time to read through it just yet - just quickly skimmed parts of it. I'll have to revisit it when I've had a decent meal and a few hours to ponder the meaning of all these numbers...


In other very much unrelated news I'm currently toying with the idea of going to Berlin while I am in Europe in March. I know this sounds somewhat ridiculous given that I was only planning on being in France for at most 10 days. To be honest - I'm really not a huge fan of Paris and I would love to go and hear some proper German techno. I have been to a few places in Germany (mainly small towns) but never to Berlin. I think it could be fun.

I started doing some pretty basic research and I think it would be feasible... just a matter of figuring out how to get there, where to stay, where the good music is and of course what else there is to see in Berlin.

Maybe I'm already trying to fit too much into this tiny little trip?

I don't know - I'll probably end up staying in Paris. That would probably be the best idea. (I haven't mentioned the fact that I was also looking at a side-trip up to London either...) Seriously - I need to stay focused!

I think about this stuff way too much. I wake up in the morning wondering "where am I?" and am disappointed when I open my eyes to find that I am at home, in my bed, with a cat waiting to lick my face and that I have to get up to go to work.

I watched Up the Yangtze last week and it had me wanting to go to China (what an amazing film!) Yesterday I watched the Long Way Down and I really wanted to go to Africa! Ahhh, if I could only feel the same way about Paris...

ungh... no sleep... so sick....

I went to the art gallery of Ontario yesterday. It was amazing - I could've probably spent another 3+ hours in there. Their photography collection is a little thin but they did have some pretty amazing street stuff (including some Henri Cartier-Bresson). The gallery itself looks amazing - tons of natural light on the upper floors, endless rooms covered in art, and natural wood everywhere...

Prior to this I went to what used to be my favourite dumpling house. *sigh* It is definitely no longer my favourite. As I left the art gallery I could feel that something was off - like my food wasn't digesting... And the feeling just kept getting worse. I came home, took a nap and that didn't help at all... Finally around 9pm I decided enough was enough, there was something wrong - I'm not sure what came next - I think it was half me forcing it and half my body rejecting the food but it wasn't pretty. I spent most of last night trying to keep fluids in my stomach so that each time I'd wake up and had to vomit there was something coming out.

Finally by about 5:30am it stopped (I think I fell asleep in the bathroom at some point too.) Lovely. Absolutely lovely. And no matter how much I tried to keep myself awake I would just quickly pass out after being sick and then would wake up having to be sick yet again.

I'm staying home today. Blech. I feel like a train wreck.

I don't get how my stomach couldn't take whatever it was that I ate. I've eaten some pretty questionable foods (more than these dumplings) in some very questionable places (street food in Thailand??) and have only ever gotten sick like this once (in Mexico... that one was definitely worse.)

Ok... I'm crawling back under some blankets and hoping that whatever that was doesn't come back. :(

Psychological Torture

A man came up to me today while I stood on a street corner waiting for the light to change and started talking to me [at me] about psychological torture. The light changed and I was on my way but before I did, I looked at him, tried to make eye contact but I couldn't quite reach him. He was speaking in my direction, had come over to where I was standing but was looking off into space. I was intrigued by what he was going to tell me but at the same time quickly realized that it would most likely not make much sense. I kind of felt bad for walking away - this must happen to him a lot... but I was on a mission. I found myself chasing a rally / protest happening downtown.



Taking pictures in Toronto these days requires that I keep moving because it's just too cold to stand still. And really, there aren't many people out so other than taking pictures of snow, half-deserted streets, or random protests there just isn't much out there.

I realized today that the next couple of months will go by quickly and that I really need to start planning my trip to Paris. I keep forgetting that this is actually happening. I need figure out whether or not to stay in a hostel or with my friend, when I'm going to leave, come back and what I am going to do while I am there. I will probably only have a week there so I need to have it planned out so that I don't miss anything. I've been wanting to look at pictures on Flickr to get ideas but instead I find myself looking at pictures from China, Japan, and Korea...

Focus, Monique, Focus.

Happy New Year!

I was reading a blog a few days ago and found something that got me thinking. It was a twist on the old "new year's resolutions". I'm not huge on the whole new year's resolution thing - I'd like to think that if I really want to get something done, I would have the will to do it without having to wait until the new year to start getting it done... I guess it's important to set goals for yourself - I just don't know that you should only assess yourself once a year...

Anyway, the person was trying to answer the following 3 questions:
1) What is the best thing that happened to you in 2008?
2) What is the worst thing that happened to you in 2008?
3) What do you want to see happen in 2009?

It got me thinking about 2008...
I'll try to give some of my answers (at least the "general public friendly" answers):
1) I think this one is a tie: a) Leaving the company I'd worked at for almost 7 years (not all full-time) and b) going traveling.
2) hmmm... a few things have happened. I'll just go with coming home from traveling and realizing that I needed to get a job and get back to the grind.
3) more traveling, more photography, more music... (if only I could figure out a way of making all three of those work together...)

I hope everyone had a fun and safe New Year's Eve. I know I did. I spent it at a few people's houses celebrating with old friends while making new ones.

This coming year should definitely be interesting...

Happy New Year!