Back Home

The flight home was long. I flew home with Air Lufthansa - not my favourite airline for long flights: the food isn't good, they have a selection of 8 terrible [horrible] movies to pick from on their terrible sub-par touchscreens, and they don't have electrical outlets for laptops - which I think is a pretty big oversight on long flights. On the upside I got quite a bit of reading done - the most I got in the entire trip.

I finished going through all my pictures on the flight too. I think I said at some point (either in an e-mail to a friend or on my blog here) that photography wasn't great in Berlin. It wasn't but I did end up with some interesting-ish pictures. I think that I took fewer pictures but more of them worked. I will get around to posting them soon. I also want to start working on editing the pictures that I've already posted - a lot of them should be in black & white - again, I didn't want to spend my entire trip editing my pictures.

I finally posted the last batch of Paris pictures on Flickr. Now I'm going to start the Berlin set and am not sure whether to just go right into post-processing or post them first and then post-process as I find the time to work on them... We'll see.

Remaining Paris set (basically unprocessed):
















And... a very short video with music from a club I went to with Aleks and Ryan:

Annie Leibovitz

I woke up today not really wanting to go to another museum or do more sight-seeing. I hadn't scoped anything particular out for the day, hoping that I could walk around in an area I hadn't yet explored in the hopes of finding something interesting.

And I did. Another gallery! [Surprise Surprise!]
With an exhibit by Annie Leibovitz no less! I had seen posters for this exhibit and was mildly intrigued but didn't know where it was. I actually stumbled on it by accident today.

So... for those who may not know Leibovitz she is probably one of the most well known portrait photographers currently alive. She was a staff photographer at Rolling Stone for over 10 years, working along side Hunter S. Thompson and then worked at Vanity Fair. She took the controversial picture of Demi Moore naked and pregnant that graced the cover of Vanity Fair back in the 90s... she photographed Lennon with Ono 5 hours before he was killed - an amazing picture worth trying to find if you can...

Anyway, I went in not knowing what to expect and was pleasantly surprised. I had seen some of her work previously and wasn't really interested - what I had seen was mainly staged portraiture (in studio and out) type stuff - not really my thing. Anyway, the exhibit mixed a bit of her magazine photography with some of her private photography. It was actually really interesting and a nice change from the type of photography I find myself gravitating towards.

The gallery hosting the exhibit was strange. There was a gymnasium [with a basketball court] on the second floor in which they were showing some of her large format prints. I think it used to be the old post office - this doesn't explain why it would have a basketball court though. This space was the opposite of yesterday's - it almost felt as if the building was falling apart around the art.

More Paris pictures...

Playing catch-up - just pictures.

Berlin Day 2

I went to see what remains of the Berlin wall today (of which about 3/4 of it was under construction - I'm confused, they're rebuilding the wall?) Then I found myself walking around in Kreuzberg (neighbourhood I hadn't yet visited) and could definitely see a difference in the buildings there than where I'm staying. I honestly feel like the area my hostel is in is like North Toronto (Keele-street looking apartment complexes). I'm surrounded by non-descript apartment buildings that for the most part look identical, with lots of green space between them. The thing is that I'm right near one of the busiest areas of the city! So I don't get it... I'm very confused.

Kreuzberg was much more like what I thought Berlin should look like - it's much more 'bohemian' in style. It seems like some of the buildings in this area were older and less like 'apartment buildings'. I really don't know how much of this area got destroyed during the war but it seemed that there were some buildings that were still intact. I liked that area so I walked around there a bit and then decided that it was museum time. I spent the following few hours in the Judisches Museum (Jewish Museum). The contents of the museum were okay. I have to admit that at times I felt like it was pretty repetitive - hello - memories of the Hiroshima museum (but definitely less dramatic.) It was kind of refreshing that it didn't solely focus on the war.

The reason I found myself there for some four hours is that this structure is amazing. It was built by architect Daniel Libeskind. There are no doors into the building and the only windows consist of slits in the metal walls. The building is shaped like a lightning bolt and has numerous 'empty spaces' where you can look through slits into said empty spaces. It's really hard to explain but was really amazing [obviously I took pictures of this building and those will follow eventually.] There was one room that wasn't heated and was just this dark space where you could look up at a tiny slit of light and hear traffic outside, the wind blowing and sound seemed amplified by the walls. Very cool. Also, some of the floors were on angles... as I said, it's hard to explain this museum.

I don't really know what I did for the rest of the day - I walked around in a busier neighbourhood I stumbled on and was going to go to a photography museum but decided to come back to the hostel to rest a bit before I head out again to explore tonight.

So far I actually like Berlin. I've noticed that there seems to be graffiti everywhere except for on art pieces and government offices. Everywhere else seems to be fair game. And it's not crappy tagging graffiti either - it's actually really cool stuff. Also, the train system / transportation system is pretty crazy. Efficient but very confusing. I like it. People here have been pretty good and quickly switch into English once my very limited German runs out and don't seem to mind. Actually, when I was 12 or 13 I decided I wanted to learn German so I picked up one of my dad's German language books and started studying it "Mein tasse ist zu klein." - that's all I remember (my cup is too small. - probably with grammatical errors.)

Overall, first impressions of Berlin are making me think that I would definitely come back - especially when it's warmer!


More pictures from Paris:

ich bin in Berlin!

I have arrived and finally got access to my room (yay!) Another epic day that almost had me crying before the sun was up. Luckily no tears were shed and instead of panicking I just focused on what needed to happen and made it happen. This morning reinforced yet again what I said in my last blog entry... but luckily for me someone came through and was able to direct me to someone who could help.

I find it strange that I had fewer problems getting to my hostel here than getting anything in Paris. I'm essentially illiterate here. The signs aren't really in English & German - they're for the most part just in German. And my attempts to ask "sprechen sie englisch?" just gets "ja"s in response and then more German. BUT... at least people are really trying to help when I don't even ask for it (which I have to say really made me feel a little better about continuing this trip.)

This morning on the way to the airport I really didn't feel like coming to Berlin... I just wanted to go home. Paris really sucked the will to keep traveling out of me - as crazy as that sounds! I usually love traveling but somehow people's attitudes there just wore me down and really made me question why I would ever want to not be in Canada... and then I started thinking about all of the other places I've traveled to and I realized that I've never felt this way before (other than maybe last time I was in Paris.)

I sat in the plane, feeling sorry for myself, put on some LCD Soundsystem and with the song All My Friends it somehow all seemed to come together. I'm definitely feeling better and enjoying this somewhat - so far - alienating experience.

Today I walked around quite a bit and saw some pretty crazy things, waited in some pretty crazy long lines and was pretty cold too. I think I need to find a sweater and some shoes. I've talked to a few people so far but for the most part feel like this may be a hard and lonely three days if I don't learn at least a few more words of German. My initial thought on this city is that it's a little strange. You can tell that a lot of it got destroyed during the war and they are still working on rebuilding it. With that in mind, a lot of the buildings are fairly recent and there are a lot of apartment buildings everywhere. I've only visited two main areas in the city so far so maybe this impression will quickly change once I explore some more.

Also, so far my hostel room is empty. Which is kind of disappointing. On the upside it's extremely clean, organized and probably the nicest hostel I've ever stayed in. [Can I hear a woot woot for the HUGE lockers right next to your bed, with locks?!] I'm concerned that it's cleanliness may translate into being a little less 'entertaining'... but I've still got hope.

Tonight I'm planning on going out. I haven't decided where yet. I have a list of a few places to go to. I may try to find some people in the hostel to see if anyone is up for some good old techno.

And with that here are more Paris pictures I posted on flickr yesterday (I'm doing them in batches of 5... if I have time before heading out tonight I may post some more.)

Another one from my Saturday Shopping set:


I was waiting to meet up with Ryan B and got tired of taking shots of monuments... so I turned to tourists:


Taken in the park in front of Les Invalides:


Random parade shots:

i may not have made it to the catacombs but...

I definitely got a taste of Paris attitude. ARGH. I was once told that if you have nothing nice to say that you should say nothing but... [need to vent]

I had two more encounters today that left me with yet another fantastic impression of people here (and I realize that this by no means is reflective of everyone here - I have had some fairly normal encounters with people... but the ones that are bad are just really irritating...)

The first: I go to the RER ticket salesperson to confirm whether or not I have to pay extra for a ticket to the airport. She quickly answer "B'en Oué!" in a tone like "are you a fool?" Clearly I am a fool for asking such a ridiculous question! Given that the RER and Metro are both accessible on the SAME tickets I guess my question was a ridiculous one?! ARGH. Whatever.

Number two: I get to the Catacombs at 4:03pm. They close at 5 but apparently they don't let people in after 4.... Okay... So right, I'm late but I'm hoping that a lonely French Canadian girl might make her way in... so I go to the bouncer (he looked like a bouncer) and ask him if it's closed. He responds that yes they are closed... so then I try some more "vous venez de fermer?" (seeing people paying just inside the door.) "oui, il est trop tard. On ferme à 4heures." Hmmm... I put on the sadest face I can and say "oh, mais je retourne au Canada demain...." (a lie but he wouldn't know...) .... "vous pouvez revenir demain matin." I respond that my plane leaves in the morning... and realize that I am getting zero sympathy so I look at him and say "eh bien, c'est la vie, n'est-ca pas?" turn around and walk away. (No response from him as I said this...)

I've read in a number of travel books that people here have an attitude. I was starting to think that maybe it wasn't so bad here. But... moments like the ticket lady at the train station really reinforce this belief. I don't blame the guy for not letting me into the catacombs - I was late, it was my problem not his. He could have shown some sympathy though... I guess he probably gets that every day though so maybe he just doesn't care anymore.

I leave for Berlin tomorrow morning.

i like French food

I just had the most decadent meal I've had in a long time. It was absolutely delicious... It started with a foie gras with figs. Then I had a steak with a foie gras sauce, scalloped potatoes and green beans. And for desert, a huge creme brule.

ahhhhhhhhh.... so good. And so much food.

Luckily for me I have this horrible habit of forgeting to eat when I'm traveling so I haven't been eating all that much during the day.

I was supposed to go out tonight but it started raining at some point during our restaurant adventure and we decided that with all the food we should maybe just go home and get an early start tomorrow. I think this was a good idea. We wanted to go to a concert and it was 11pm already (it's just after 11 now) so chances are we would've missed most of it.

And some more pictures... Very little editing on any of these - I will edit them when I get home and can see them on a normal sized screen but I can't help but post a few! These one's aren't amazing - I've picked some 40 'good ones' so far but am going through them in chronological order (the first two pictures I posted were from somewhere in this first set.)

a couple of Paris photos

Here are a couple of pictures from my first day and a half in Paris - only two pictures for now. I got tons of street-type stuff in today... hopefully more to come.

The Sacre-Coeur


Saturday Shopping

This is the street that my hotel was on. I got up and walked through the street market there and took some pictures.

That's it for now.

Paris: Jeu de Paume

8pm – Saturday night.


Today I went to a gallery called Jeu de Paume. I had researched all of the major galleries in the city before leaving home and found out that Robert Frank had an exhibit there. I went with my good friend Ryan who is currently staying in Paris with his wife (who was in school today.)

He didn’t know what I was bringing him to but seemed excited at the thought of going to a photography exhibit. We decided when we go there that we should see the other exhibits beforehand because we thought that what Frank would have would probably be the best… and so we started with Mario Garcia Torres. Wow. We stood inside the darkest room I’ve ever been in (it actually scared me to go in because I was afraid that I would somehow lose my body) and watched a black and white slide show. And within moments I knew where we were and I was of course in love – Tokyo. Amazing set of photos. It made me want to go back to Tokyo right then and there!

Next we saw Sophie Ristelhueber’s exhibit (of course you have to think this was after I saw some amazing pictures of Tokyo!) It didn’t do that much for me. There were a couple of really good photographs in the set but I found that overall it was a little too heavy perhaps for me? [a lot of her exhibit was pictures taken after the war in various areas of the world – Beirut, Irak and West Bank – none of these pictures were people pictures but rather architecture or landscape shots.]

Finally – Robert Frank! I didn’t expect the “Les Americains” to be on exhibit – I’m pretty familiar with this set of photos (I was actually thinking of buying the book a few weeks ago). It was pretty cool to see these pictures on the wall and in the order he thinks they belong in (I’ve only ever seen them on my computer screen.) This was put next to his Paris photographs taken in the early 50s. It was such an interesting contrast. The American pictures definitely had a very ‘lonely’ feeling to them whereas the Paris ones felt more like he was interacting with people in the photographs. It’s hard to put into words… but I think it had to do with the wideness (for a lack of a better word right now) of the photos. The American set were much more close whereas the Paris stuff was much more wide, giving you more ‘information’ about the scenes.

I have to say… I was pretty happy with this gallery! It was cheap to get in (actually, I got in free because some random stranger gave me his ticket! Yay! I love random strangers!), the gallery was really nice and the right size and not too busy and really had some amazing exhibits!!

__________________

So far I’ve taken a fairly substantial number of pictures. I don’t know if any of them are good – I don’t want to waste my time here in my hotel room editing pictures. I know a lot of them are pretty bad – I’ve been trying hip shots when I feel too exposed (or too at risk) to take regular pictures.

I’m relaxing in my hotel room right now, sipping some really well-priced Wyborowa vodka (12 Euros for 700ml!) with Orangina and snacking on camembert and ‘biscottes’ [kind of like thick melba toast] – all of my purchases including the vodka cost me 20 Euros – I think I did okay – this includes a Red Bull, more crackers and cheese than I care to eat by myself, a huge bottle of Orangina and a reusable shopping bag.

I walked everywhere today so my legs are feeling a little tired. Later I will meet up with Aleks and Ryan, have dinner and then going out. Tomorrow I will be moving to their apartment for the rest of my stay.

That’s it for now! Time to head out!

Paris delirium

I arrived in Paris without a problem. There was some confusion but I got over it fairly quickly.

I got here feeling pretty tired but that didn’t stop me from getting lost in the streets of Paris today. This seems to be the thing I do when I first arrive in a city and I’m traveling by myself. (memories of Hong Kong) I realized after wandering for a good 20 minutes that I no longer knew where I was, I thought I was heading South but wasn't sure (I kept using the sun as my guide) and I was on some small side streets somewhere in downtown Paris. (Maps? what? why would I use those?)

My initial thoughts on Paris this time around were much more positive until I went out for dinner with my friends tonight. I’m fluent in French… but I’m also quite shy and soft-spoken around strangers and so… as we sat in the restaurant and I asked for a few minutes to look at the menu the waiter, who had been joking with us (in an annoying way that none of us found amusing), acted as if he couldn’t understand and as if I were asking him for the bill. I was far from amused.

It’s really frustrating. I remember getting similar attitude the previous time I was here… anyway, I will let it slide as it was the first bad encounter of the day and I did actually speak to a few strangers today and it was quite nice. From my experience here and with people I have met that are from here, I always feel like my French is for some reason inferior. Not just because I haven’t spoken it in a while but because I have a strange accent that no one can place (is it Quebecois? Is it Anglophone? I don’t know… I think it’s Albertan French – which probably means very little to anyone who’s never spoken to someone from Alberta who speaks French. But even then, my French is a mixture of all three of these…)

I had someone recently try to correct me on my pronunciation of my last name (not here, back home). This really bothered me. I’ve said my last name the same way ever since I knew what my last name was… I say it the same way my parents say it and their parents said it (my parents, oddly enough, had the same last name before getting married and are of no known blood relation). And so this sent me on a search for the correct pronunciation of my name. [It ends up I am saying it correctly!] Anyway, it irritates me that someone would tell me that I don’t know how to pronounce my own last name. I feel like in a way they’re questioning my identity – my frenchness, my background, my knowledge of French. [I’ve lost a lot of French I admit – I find it hard to speak it sometimes but I am fully fluent when reading / hearing people speak. It really scares me… I would hate to lose it…]

Tomorrow I am going to see the Robert Frank exhibit which should be really interesting. I think he was a very influential street photographer (and inspired numerous of my favourite photographers).

I feel like I’m on track with my photo-taking but that I haven’t taken anything spectacular yet. I’m doing two things this time around 1) not looking back through my pictures while I’m taking them and 2) not deleting a picture if I think it failed.

Anyway, it’s 1am here. I should probably get some sleep… I didn’t sleep much on the plane and I spent the day walking throughout the city. I have to say, coming back after a few years has really helped me appreciate the architecture here a lot more than I did the first time around. Also I noticed some strange things on the train into the city this morning. It really reminded me of rural Japan in some ways. I know this sounds ridiculous but some the houses looked just like Japanese houses, roads were narrow, cars were very small… I should’ve taken pictures but I’ve been in a pretty serious daze today from the jet lag.

Alright, time to work on this jet lag.

____

The above was written in a state of delirium at 1am last night... I slept a solid 9 hours before waking up this morning and not wanting to open my eyes. I forced myself out of bed and now I'm feeling somewhat ready to go - I could use another few hours in bed but that's not why I'm here.

Time to go find a bakery and some pain au chocolat!!

and she's just about off

I haven't been sleeping well - this trip is driving me crazy... I keep having these strange dreams where I'm in Paris and realize I've forgotten something I don't need. The other night I got to Paris and realized I only had my 50mm lens. As much as I don't want to take that lens off my camera I will be shooting with my other lenses too (I have planned on going to specific places and taking very specific pictures - maybe a little obsessive?) I remember thinking in my dream "meh, it's okay, I'll make it work..." and then quickly moving on to something else... Sometimes it's toothpaste, or socks (that reminds me *mental note* - need to pack shower sandals and earplugs.)

Monday I finished (and passed) my class and now that I'm without Level 3 for a few months I think self-study will be in full-effect. I've finished putting the vocabulary from my book into my Anki set and will work with that while I'm away (and the endless - I really mean ENDLESS - supply of e-books I have on my laptop.) I'm still thinking of maybe taking that Mandarin course... I'm hesitating because I want to keep learning Japanese and think that another language might just confuse me. I feel like I've finally started progressing at a somewhat faster pace and understanding things more (significantly more!) I realized tonight as I quickly flipped through the course calendar that I could probably skip level 3 if I self-study and go to level 4 in the fall. Which would put me back on track! We'll see if that happens!

The rest of my week has been spent running around trying to get stuff in order.

I have to pack tonight... I hate packing... [I also hate unpacking. It's so very tedious.] Out of curiosity I just started re-reading my blog entries from my first trip to Europe (yes these exist though they're pretty sparse...) I can't wait! I'm excited. I'm nervous... all good things. I scoped out some clubs in Berlin last night. Looks like my hostel location is perfect. I seem to be in the middle of a triangle of really good techno clubs that apparently have music every night of the week. I cannot imagine what living in a place like that would do to me!? I cannot even fathom being in a city where you have more than one techno event to pick from a week!? I guess I'll have a taste of that next week! Anyway, I'm really looking forward to everything...

And hopefully, next time I write I will be in France!
See you then!

looking for green

Finally a somewhat spring-like day... the thaw has begun and last week's endless rain has finally stopped. Everything is a nice shade of mud brown.

It's fantastic. Actually, I don't mind. The air is somewhat fresh (as fresh as Toronto air gets I suppose) and still has enough bite that I come home with rosy cheeks. I could go for that nice spring mud smell but I'll settle for just having a cloudless warm-ish day.

I'm avoiding doing my Japanese homework. I just realized that the prof assigned us quite a bit of work for the last class (in addition to our presentation.) I'll get it done... eventually.

And so here are some pictures taken in the last 7 days:

Last weekend's endless rain


Today's walk




[in colour perhaps?]




as usual, I've posted more pictures on flickr if you are interested.

I started trying to push myself to get in closer today... and of course I found it really hard. I tried channeling my inner foreigner [I mean, trying to act like I did when I was traveling] but it wasn't really working. I'm always afraid someone's going to yell at me or chase me down to try to break my camera (I'm not sure where I get these crazy ideas from?) How is it that I felt fine with taking super-close-up pictures of people when I was traveling?! I don't know, it just doesn't sit right when I try to do it here.
I know I keep saying this but I really love this new lens - haven't taken it off the camera yet and haven't really felt limited by it either. I guess I've been trying pretty specific things lately though. I haven't had any issues with it and it has been consistently giving me good results - I can only blame myself for my crappy pictures!


I woke up this morning thinking about how a year ago today I left my old job. It feels so far away... and I have to say I could never imagine myself going back there. I now realize how miserable working there was making me. My current job is insanely better than my old one. It's annoying to think that I allowed myself to get stuck there for so long... but at least I'm out now. Best decision I have ever made. [really!]


I leave for Paris in 5 days... I wonder if my camera-shyness will apply in Europe or not? My guess is that it probably will but we'll have to wait and see... I'll try my hardest... REALLY.

photowalk

I have to admit that I didn't feel like doing much photowalking tonight. I wanted to play with my lens but I've been putting off working on my presentation for class all week and I really need to get my travel plans confirmed...

With all that buzzing around my head I still headed out. It took me about 45 minutes before I took my first picture. I just wasn't feeling it.

Here are a few of tonight's shots.

Bokeh & DOF - shot at 1.4

This was really hard to get to focus. Auto-focusing on something dark when there isn't much light is difficult (and it was quite dark out though this picture may suggest otherwise). I tried doing it manually using the focus confirmation (I love how this lens has a manual over-ride for tweaking the focus.) I find the bokeh balls are distracting but otherwise I like the soft feel.

I wanted to take people shots but was feeling a little shy / exposed... so I went for the next best thing:


An okay picture of the crystal (I've been trying for a while with my other 50mm to get this shot.) I think I may have cut off the top which essentially makes this photo garbage in my books (how did I not catch that when I took it?!) I really like the light in this shot though...


Such a bright lens. The picture below was taken in an alley (ummm yeah, I'm still walking through alleys.) There wasn't much light there... If only it was wider - I was pretty far back when I took this picture (I couldn't get much further back without changing my angle.) This is probably my favourite shot of the night.



I'm happy with the lens so far. I'll stop giving a play-by-play of my shots (eventually). I think this lens has just made taking pictures much easier - now I just need to find something interesting to shoot. I want to try taking pictures at different apertures but 1.4 is just... amazing to me. Haha... And this morning's buyer's remorse has definitely passed.

I'm tired, I walked quite a ways tonight. More pictures on flickr.