Paris delirium

I arrived in Paris without a problem. There was some confusion but I got over it fairly quickly.

I got here feeling pretty tired but that didn’t stop me from getting lost in the streets of Paris today. This seems to be the thing I do when I first arrive in a city and I’m traveling by myself. (memories of Hong Kong) I realized after wandering for a good 20 minutes that I no longer knew where I was, I thought I was heading South but wasn't sure (I kept using the sun as my guide) and I was on some small side streets somewhere in downtown Paris. (Maps? what? why would I use those?)

My initial thoughts on Paris this time around were much more positive until I went out for dinner with my friends tonight. I’m fluent in French… but I’m also quite shy and soft-spoken around strangers and so… as we sat in the restaurant and I asked for a few minutes to look at the menu the waiter, who had been joking with us (in an annoying way that none of us found amusing), acted as if he couldn’t understand and as if I were asking him for the bill. I was far from amused.

It’s really frustrating. I remember getting similar attitude the previous time I was here… anyway, I will let it slide as it was the first bad encounter of the day and I did actually speak to a few strangers today and it was quite nice. From my experience here and with people I have met that are from here, I always feel like my French is for some reason inferior. Not just because I haven’t spoken it in a while but because I have a strange accent that no one can place (is it Quebecois? Is it Anglophone? I don’t know… I think it’s Albertan French – which probably means very little to anyone who’s never spoken to someone from Alberta who speaks French. But even then, my French is a mixture of all three of these…)

I had someone recently try to correct me on my pronunciation of my last name (not here, back home). This really bothered me. I’ve said my last name the same way ever since I knew what my last name was… I say it the same way my parents say it and their parents said it (my parents, oddly enough, had the same last name before getting married and are of no known blood relation). And so this sent me on a search for the correct pronunciation of my name. [It ends up I am saying it correctly!] Anyway, it irritates me that someone would tell me that I don’t know how to pronounce my own last name. I feel like in a way they’re questioning my identity – my frenchness, my background, my knowledge of French. [I’ve lost a lot of French I admit – I find it hard to speak it sometimes but I am fully fluent when reading / hearing people speak. It really scares me… I would hate to lose it…]

Tomorrow I am going to see the Robert Frank exhibit which should be really interesting. I think he was a very influential street photographer (and inspired numerous of my favourite photographers).

I feel like I’m on track with my photo-taking but that I haven’t taken anything spectacular yet. I’m doing two things this time around 1) not looking back through my pictures while I’m taking them and 2) not deleting a picture if I think it failed.

Anyway, it’s 1am here. I should probably get some sleep… I didn’t sleep much on the plane and I spent the day walking throughout the city. I have to say, coming back after a few years has really helped me appreciate the architecture here a lot more than I did the first time around. Also I noticed some strange things on the train into the city this morning. It really reminded me of rural Japan in some ways. I know this sounds ridiculous but some the houses looked just like Japanese houses, roads were narrow, cars were very small… I should’ve taken pictures but I’ve been in a pretty serious daze today from the jet lag.

Alright, time to work on this jet lag.

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The above was written in a state of delirium at 1am last night... I slept a solid 9 hours before waking up this morning and not wanting to open my eyes. I forced myself out of bed and now I'm feeling somewhat ready to go - I could use another few hours in bed but that's not why I'm here.

Time to go find a bakery and some pain au chocolat!!