they say that the first time

... is the hardest.

Or so my boss told me on Friday as I told her about my apprehensions with the upcoming release.

This morning we promoted my first release as a lead. I couldn't sleep last night, was up at 4:30, and in the office by 6. At 11am I sent out my final sign-off saying that it was all done. I thought I was going to be sick. Things weren't as smooth as I would've liked and I really can't take much blame for what went on (luckily everything got resolved fairly quickly.) It wasn't anything I could have prepared myself for to be quite honest but I still can't help but feel somehow responsible.

So much stress for something so insignificant. I sat through an afternoon of planning meetings for our summer release and finally got home at 5.

I laid on the couch trying to sleep... nothing.

I just got out of the bath (thank you to whoever gave me that Lush bath bomb 3+ years ago and to whoever left that lovely bottle of wine in my cabinet...)


Is the first time really the hardest? Does it get easier from here?
I hope so...

16 more days...