new glass

I did it.

I went out and spent way too much money on a new lens. Everyone, please welcome my new Nikon AF-S 50mm 1.4G:


It took one pivotal shot in the store where I managed to quickly focus on the corner of the counter and it came out crisp and sharp and oh so very bright! I quickly fell in love. It could be that the light tonight was fantastic and the weather was warm enough that I could walk home while enjoying taking pictures or maybe it's just that this lens is brilliant!

And so here we go:
My first shot (outside of my testing the lens in store)



I quickly realized that taking pictures at 1.4 is insanely bright!


Again, another bright shot... the bokeh isn't bad here. I'll have to try more bokeh specific shots at some point.

(actually about the above shot - the shot previous to this was similar except taken horizontally and with someone else walking through the frame. I didn't realize the other person until I got home and started editing the pictures. I immediately recognized her - it was one of Ryan's old co-workers that I'd once met - weird!)

And some random shot - just kind of showing the sharpness...



It was a sad moment tonight as the guy at Henry's took my old 50mm lens off my camera. We both looked at it - he commented that he knew this lens and that the optics on it were fantastic... oh yes they are... unfortunately I've become reliant on my autofocus and have an insatiable hunger for more available light. (I'm still trying to figure out when exactly that lens was manufactured.) I almost felt guilty as I took pictures tonight because I fell in love so quickly with this new lens - I was so quick to turn on my old reliable, wonderful lens.

I have a feeling that this new lens will not be taken off my camera for a while.

I'll probably head out for some real photography tomorrow night after work.

they say that the first time

... is the hardest.

Or so my boss told me on Friday as I told her about my apprehensions with the upcoming release.

This morning we promoted my first release as a lead. I couldn't sleep last night, was up at 4:30, and in the office by 6. At 11am I sent out my final sign-off saying that it was all done. I thought I was going to be sick. Things weren't as smooth as I would've liked and I really can't take much blame for what went on (luckily everything got resolved fairly quickly.) It wasn't anything I could have prepared myself for to be quite honest but I still can't help but feel somehow responsible.

So much stress for something so insignificant. I sat through an afternoon of planning meetings for our summer release and finally got home at 5.

I laid on the couch trying to sleep... nothing.

I just got out of the bath (thank you to whoever gave me that Lush bath bomb 3+ years ago and to whoever left that lovely bottle of wine in my cabinet...)


Is the first time really the hardest? Does it get easier from here?
I hope so...

16 more days...

しーしゃしん

This morning I re-read the foreword to the photography book Araki Gold. I was surprised at what Araki had to say and it really put a lot of the pictures I've seen of his into context - both from this book and from another book I have of his. I don't think I understood what he was talking about the first time I read through it - I think I was too excited to see what was hidden in the pages of the book to pay close attention to his foreword. This time though it really made a lot of sense.

He refers to his photography style as しーしゃしん (death-photograph). He says that the photograph is a reality between the photographer and the subject and that it is a "private / dead reality." He goes on to explain how photography is showing the relationship between the photographer and the subject and how a looking through the viewfinder is like taking an 'x-ray' of yourself. After reading this, it really forced me to look at these pictures differently and re-examine them to see what exactly was going on in each of them. I think there's a lot of be learnt from his short little humourous (some might call it offensive) foreword.


Anyway... I spent yet another Sunday afternoon in the library studying. I'm trying to think of an appropriate (and somewhat interesting) response to the teacher's usual question:
しゅまつに　なにを　しましたか。　(What did you do on the weekend?)
Hmmmm...
ともだちに　あって、いっしょに　としょかんで　べんきょうを　しました。 This is a pretty lame answer (met a friend then studied together at the library) but... whatever - it will do! I'm not feeling all that brave with my Japanese just yet to try to explain what I did last night. Maybe I'll try writing it out... that would be a good exercise.

excited and nervous

My (big) flights are booked!
And now I just have to wait 26 days... I can do this... I can do this...

I've got so much researching to do. Or do I? I don't know... I think I'd rather just go with the flow while I'm in Paris rather than have an itinerary planned. There are a few things I want to do for sure and timing them will be key but aside from that I don't really care what I see or do - just being there will be amazing in itself.

Berlin is worrying me a little bit - I have to definitely find a place to stay and figure out what I'm going to do and see there. I've never been so I don't know what to expect nor what to visit or where to even start. I'll have to read up a bit on it before leaving. Also, I feel rusty on the whole traveling alone thing. It's easy to get comfortable relying on someone else to help you get through those "I don't know what to do" or "i don't understand what's going on" moments. Add to this that my German is non-existent and I'm a little nervous. (I figure it's the good kind of nervous though.)

So much to do in the next 4 weeks! I have to finish my Japanese course (write up a presentation, present said presentation), I have to make sure that two releases go through at work (one of which will be launching while I'm away.) I still have to figure out where I'm going to stay and how I'm going to get from Paris to Berlin (I'm thinking flying might be the best option: it is definitely more economical and quick than the train).

Also, the last couple of days I've really been wondering whether or not a 50mm lens would be too narrow for me on the street. My plan was to possibly buy a new lens before my trip but now I'm thinking that it's getting a little too close and that I wouldn't have any meaningful time to learn how to use the new lens properly. I know, it should be straight forward but I also need to know that come my trip I'm not struggling to take an okay picture! During Sunday's photo-taking session I found myself really struggling to be far enough to get the shots I wanted. So maybe a 50mm isn't what I'm looking for? and if I'm still undecided at this point maybe I shouldn't be buying a new lens...

Taken last Sunday (quite uninspired):

spaced repetition

Today in class the teacher asked the question: What is ぐらい (gurai)? I don't know what got into me - but I said quickly and pretty loudly "approximately!" And then I quickly realized that everyone was looking at me kind of wondering how in the world I knew this word. I don't know how it got into my Anki set but it did. And for some reason it will not stop showing up - I just couldn't seem to ever remember it. Anyway, it just came out today when she asked the question. I really didn't mean to exclaim it the way I did... I hate being that person... but... it also made me realize that maybe the spaced repetition is really working.

I spent yesterday afternoon at the library studying and doing homework. It was actually really good and I think I'll probably go back next week. I made friends with a dictionary that I've been thinking of buying (I have to say I was a little disappointed, I think I'll look at other ones next week) and found the Japanese book collection at the library! YAY!
On the walk home, as I walked through Chinatown I actually recognized some kanji. (yay!?)

I know, this all sounds super lame. I find it hard to know how much I'm learning without acknowledging moments like these. It really feels like I'm putting in a lot of time and still struggling to get simple sentences out (this is definitely getting better though.) Little moments like these, where I catch myself understanding things I wouldn't have expected kind of make me feel like I'm making some sort of progress, it's somehow rewarding.


I'm still feeling pretty lame from the Chicago trip... And for some reason I am still sore from last week's floor hockey game. I'm really quite out of shape. As I walked home tonight I was thinking that I should set myself a very specific goal to work towards - I was thinking of maybe running a race or something along those lines (I've been thinking about this one for a while now... I just need to commit tons of time to actual training.) And then I was reminded of my cycling... I used to do "enduro" type races (single-track x-country races that would last about 2 hours - 25+ kilometers)... I think I used to actually be pretty good at endurance type sports. I was never a strong runner though. If only I could channel my cycling endurance into my running - I'm sure I could, I just need to figure out how. And for a moment tonight I had this sudden urge to ride my bike again. It's been a while since I've felt that way. And it's way too cold here (and the streets are much too salty) to even begin thinking about taking it out this early... and now that I think of it... spaced repetition in cycling.... I used to totally do spaced repetition in cycling when I was training. See? It's all related.

on Mamiya, Paris and other lameness

I guess I could've predicted that I would come home from Chicago feeling bored.

I've been plagued by boredom all week. I could feel it coming on when I woke up in my hotel on Monday morning - knowing that I was going to have to go home. I just feel overwhelmed by lameness.

Anyway, I've packed my weekend full of activities to keep my mind busy. Today I'm spending the afternoon at the library with a friend studying. And hopefully I'll be able to get the camera out for a few shots too - we've been getting late day snowfalls and the light has been pretty cool so I'm thinking my 50mm + 5pm-6pm street shooting near the library might work nicely.

I've been looking at pictures all morning... My curiosity for medium format film photography continues to grow. My current obsession seems to be Mamiya cameras - wow, some of the shots I've been looking at this morning are pretty amazing [there are tons of groups on flickr for Mamiyas - like super 23.] If only I could convince myself that it wouldn't be gathering dust on my desk... Also, maybe i should try to master what I have as opposed to just adding more gear to the pile? Moving to film seems so expensive when I compare it to digital - I'd have to buy film regularly and either pay to get it developed at a decent lab or buy the gear to develop it myself. [I'm not totally crossing this possibility off just yet...]

And my heart still yearns for a 50mm prime 1.4 auto-focus lens... I'm seriously considering staying at my friend's tiny apartment in Paris next month in order to be able to justify buying a new lens. And... I still haven't bought my flight to Paris & Berlin... I'm nervous and I feel guilty for going without Ryan... and it's really shitty that I feel this way because I've been planning this for months now. I think I just need to close my eyes and book the flight and have it be over and done with. [worst of all... as I find myself looking at flights I keep finding crazy cheap flights to Seoul or Tokyo... so very tempting...]

Alright, I should probably go make some coffee and have some breakfast.

Three Days in Chicago

So you’re in Chicago for three days and don’t know where to start?

Here are a few things that you should definitely check out.

The John Hancock Center
This building is often overlooked by tourists who instead choose to go to the Sears tower. The Sears tower is the second tallest free standing building in the Americas so there’s definitely some attraction to going there I suppose. But, if you want to avoid the crowds and pricey observation deck fees I would recommend the John Hancock Center. This is the fourth tallest (at the time that this blog entry was written) building in Chicago. Getting up to the 96th floor is free and you can enjoy the view while sipping a lovely cocktail, beer or eating some appetizers. The drinks are a little expensive but for the amazing views they’re definitely worth the price (and they aren’t bad either!)





The Art Institute of Chicago
This is probably one of the largest collections of art I have ever seen. Spending an afternoon here will only start to skim the surface of the collection. Also, it is easy to get lost in the buildings so grab a map. The Art Institute has some amazing pieces including some pretty notable ones: Van Gogh’s Self Portrait, Seurat’s Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte, Hopper’s Nighthawks to name but a few… Luckily if you happen to be there before the end of February admission is free so you can go back a few times if you just can’t fit it all in one day.

Museum of Contemporary Photography
I would recommend that if you’re into photography you check the current exhibit online before going. The gallery is very small and I think may only have an exhibit at a time. I was a little disappointed given the collection they have available for viewing online and unfortunately I didn’t check the current exhibit before going. The current exhibit seemed more interested in the medium than anything else (it felt like the accompanying literature was really trying to convince me why the images should be on the wall… I wasn’t quite convinced.)

The Neighbourhoods
Chicago is a city of neighbourhoods. I would highly recommend that visiting the neighbourhoods be part of any traveler’s trip – really without it you will not have seen any of Chicago!! There’s Chinatown – maybe go for some Dim Sum? There are numerous really good restaurants in the Chinatown Square. Pilsen: this is a Mexican area – wow. I cannot stop dreaming of my antojito plate from Nuevo Leon! Wicker Park – this area has amazing restaurants, bars and nightlife.

Music – from Jazz to Techno - I was lucky enough to experience a bit of both!
Smartbar
Located under the more reknown Metro hall, Smartbar is a small dark basement club in Wrigleyville. This place plays various types of electronic music. The night we went we saw a DJ from Detroit called Moodyman, the night before they had hosted A-Trak a more electro DJ. Moodyman’s set was really good and quickly left us wanting more. There was one very memorable track that included some jazz trumpet – it really worked - I had never heard anything like it before. The crowd seemed really into the music – a lot of people dancing and really looking like they were there to enjoy the music. I would definitely go back.

Green Mill Cocktail Lounge
Located near Smartbar, this is definitely not an electronic music club. Sit down if you can find an empty table, have a drink and listen to some jazz in an almost smokey atmosphered room. (Thankfully, no smoking allowed.) In the words of the bouncer “it’s a quiet room” (which for those who have never been to a jazz bar means – please don’t talk while the musicians are playing.) And I can really understand why. I was pretty amazed at the performance we saw on Sunday night here. The resident Sunday night band (singer Kimberly Gordon, Chris Foreman on Hammond B-3 organ and Andy Brown on guitar) was pretty good and kept me entertained for a full two sets before I decided I was too tired to keep my eyes open. Seeing these people perform really made me want to check out the local jazz scene back at home. The venue itself was amazing – it felt like I had stepped back some 50 years in time and really set the mood for the performance.

Architecture and Art on the Street
Really, going to Chicago for me was a lot about being surrounded by some amazing architecture. Walking throughout the downtown area it seems like almost every building is interesting in some way. Even down to the sleek Trump Tower.




Marina City


Cloud Gate



A few little side notes:
The CTA (the public transportation system) offers 3-day (72 hour) and 7-day passes to visitors. They’re completely worth it and will get you on any CTA vehicle at any time within your 72 hour time limit. It’s really quite nice to be able to jump on and off buses and on and off the trains.





The Navy Pier
This is a pier extending on Lake Michigan that pretty much seems to exclusively cater to tourists. This isn’t exactly my type of place but if you want to go on a Ferris wheel or have kids I could see how this could be fun – especially in the summer. In the winter it’s fairly quiet – especially on a Monday morning.




This is just a taste of my trip to Chicago. I ate a lot of really amazing food. And of course, more pictures can be found on flickr. Three days didn't seem like enough time. We packed a lot into our little trip and I came home feeling like I have a better understanding of the city. The highlights of my trip were definitely the John Hancock, the Art Institute, Green Mill Cocktail Lounge, and Nuevo Leon in Pilsen.

Back home

I just got back home... I worked on a blog entry when I was waiting in the airport but now I'm thinking I need to rework it. I'm tired and hungry - my flight was delayed by an hour (a flight that lasts an hour was delayed an hour?!)

A real blog post will come in a day or so - pictures too... I didn't take too many this trip - I really tried to keep it under control and honestly, I just wasn't feeling it very much when I would pull out my camera. I hope a few of shots turned out... I'm a little concerned that my lack of inspiration may shine through them though and they will all be lame...

Anyway, more to follow soon.

Chicago!

I just woke up and looked out the window. I'm IN CHICAGO!

After a very stressful trip to the airport last night, it's nice to be here. I have learnt my lesson: taking the subway to the airport on a Friday night to catch an international flight is probably not the best idea. The subway was down - we got stuck at Ossington station in a bus that wouldn't let us off (people are so strange - if you are at the front of the bus and people at the back are asking the driver to let them out, maybe you could just relay the message instead of just staring at the people at the back blankly.) Argh... and then the finding a taxi in that mess was more than annoying...

Anyway, who cares - we're here.

Last night we got to the hotel around 10:30ish and decided that we should go out for a late night snack and some beer. We shared an "individual" sized deep dish pizza - it was actually not as bad as I remember it. Much less cheezy and heavy - definitely still heavy but not like the one we had last time we were here. The waitress seemed as old as the pizza place we went to... but she was really sweet and brought us some ice cream (on the house) thinking we were newly-weds (ha... yeah, not so much.)

Just walking around last night reminded me why I liked this city so much last time I was here. The architecture is amazing. I continue to be baffled at how each building has so much style - it's actually pretty amazing. I don't really know how to put it into words... I hope to get some pictures today...

Oh and the best part! We got to our hotel to find that we'd been put in a room with two double beds. I like my own space but two double beds is kind of awkward... So we went back downstairs and asked if they had a room with a king size bed (I love king sized beds - I wish I had room for one at home... I would never leave it. It's like the best of both worlds - you can share a bed but also have enough room to spread-eagle without touching the other person!) Anyway, they happened to have one on the same floor as we were on (22nd floor!) so we took it, walked into our room to see that the view had completely changed and that we were now overlooking the river, lake and navy pier! (The view in our first room kind of sucked.) Pretty awesome.

So on the menu for today - start with a trip to Chinatown for some dim sum or lunch then off to the photography museum. If the sun stays out we'll head to the John Hancock building for sunset and drinks and then... who knows? Maybe a jazz bar?

random memory from when I was 8

Last night I remembered something very strange... It's so strange that I almost wonder if maybe it was some weird dream but the vividness of the memory suggests that it really happened.

When I was in grade 3 I was asked to be interviewed on TVO for one of their kids TV shows. Only thing was that they wanted me to bring my dog onto the show. So of course this brought up the question of "how would I get the dog to the studio?" I don't think we had a car at the time, my mom didn't drive and the show was being recorded in the middle of the day during the week.

And so of course my teacher suggested that... I bring my dog to school.
And of course my parents... accepted!
What kind of craziness is that?!

So I brought my dog onto the school bus, brought her rug, food, some water and maybe a few toys. She sat next to me all morning during school. I took her outside for a short walk. Then we headed off to TVO - the whole class in tow (they were the audience) - to record the interview. I can vaguely remember the interview - sitting in the bright lights with my dog on my lap talking to the host (whose name also happened to be Monique) about how to take care of her, how old she was, that kind of thing.

It's so strange when I think back to this. I can remember it fairly clearly and it really seems so very surreal. I can remember how my hair was braided, how I was wearing my favourite Baja aqua-coloured jumpsuit with white tights, how my dog sat on the floor next to me at the back of the bus. My dog wasn't anything all that special (other than she was my dog and totally awesome!) - she was just a terrier-poodle mix that we had rescued from the humane society.

I did these kinds of interviews a few times when I was in grade school (radio interview about the Lego exhibit at Ontario Place, this interview, another tv interview in grade 8 about some computer game...) It's so strange when I think back to these interviews. I think I was picked because my school was one of the only French schools in the downtown area. Also, French was my first language (I didn't really speak much English until I was in grade 4) so I was extremely fluent and I read a lot and maybe I talked a lot too? [Maybe I wasn't as shy then as I am now? I don't know...]

I'm not sure what brought this memory back... I think I was thinking about learning languages as a child and how I didn't really think about it much back then. It just seemed to come naturally. Learning Japanese now is kind of hard - I don't really remember learning languages as being difficult. I also don't remember ever learning English grammar - I went to a French school where teachers barely spoke English (if this is any indication: my grade 3 & 4 teacher said the words "Tree" and "Three" the same way - I had the same problem as a child - I couldn't say "th".) By the time I hit high school (also exclusively French aside from English class) they assumed we knew English grammar. I could hardly write a full sentence in English. My sisters helped me a lot and I started reading pretty much exclusively in English which really helped. I guess learning English was harder than French for me, probably because I was older and my brain was already past it's prime language learning period. I actually kind of find it strange being in Japanese class and learning more grammar than I ever did when I learnt English.

That is all for now - I know, how very disappointing. Hopefully I'll have something interesting to write about soon.... Chicago maybe?